"Toys R Us". Are They Us?
Four-year-olds can communicate somewhat complex ideas, but their minds are still alien; their language hasn't quite settled down into adult patterns; and they're flying by the seat of their pants socially. I'd love to see a site devoted simply to the interesting things they say!
Those interesting things are so easy to forget. Our memories tend to reshape and adultify in retelling; we can't hang on to the weirdness. I wish Pauline and I had done a better job capturing Davy's interesting remarks as a four-year-old; but we do have a few (what we think of as) gems. I hope readers will contribute their own in the comments if they have any!
In a restaurant: "It smells like a rainbow of things to eat" (4 yrs, 0 months).
"Mommy, you're evil, so I taked away your shoe" (4 yrs, 0 months).
Davy's great grandmother died. We took him to see the body. He wanted to touch it to see "if she's still squishy but doesn't move" (4-0).
"I wasn't being bossy. I was being right" (4-1).
At bathtime: "I hate to hide from you, but it's just a special occasion" (4-1).
"Is it today or tonight?" (4-2).
Of a new toy truck: "It springed my heart with love, I like it so much" (4-2).
Arguing about who has the better mommy:
Mary Travis: My mommy can help anyone!
Davy: My mommy can help anyone!
Mary Travis: My mommy can talk to anyone!
Davy: My mommy can talk to anyone!
Evidently this is what mommies do: help and talk (4-4).
Daddy: Are you fine?
Davy: I'm so fine I could burst a porcupine! (4-4)
Davy: Jesus didn't have a crib.
Daddy: What? Oh, right. "No crib for a bed."
Davy: I don't have a crib.
Daddy: So you're Jesus.
Davy: Yes. No! (4-4)
"Maybe they call it 'Christmas' because you MISS it and... and... and it's Chris" (4-5).
"My race car is fun-fastic!" (4-5).
To Mommy: "I said 'Wonka Nerds' because my brain took a peek at it before I did. My brain is very smart because it looks at things before I do and it discovers things before I do and that's why I'm smarter than you" (4-6).
Davy punches Mommy.
Mommy: Don't do that. That hurt!
Davy: Did it sting?
Mommy: I'm not saying.
Davy: Did it sting?
Mommy: I'm not telling you so you can enjoy it.
Davy: I enjoy punching people.
Mommy: Well I hope no one punches you and enjoys it.
Davy: I like to be punched. I didn't like it when I was a baby but I absent-mindedly got used to it (4-6).
Davy sneezes. Mommy usually says "bless you", but she's on the phone and ignores it. Davy says, "bless myself" (4-7).
Davy: I don't need a diaper. I just insulated myself for sleep.
Mommy: Insulated yourself?
Davy pulls up his shirt to reveal wads of toilet paper stuffed into his pants (4-7).
"All my ideas live here [points to tummy]. Then they come up to my brain and I think them" (4-8).
Davy: Maybe this is a dream.
Daddy: This, right now?
Davy: Well, maybe. If this hurts. [He pulls on Daddy's earlobes.] (4-11)
Davy: Mom, what's smaller than the smallest thing in the whole world?
Mommy: What? No, there can't be anything smaller than the smallest thing in the whole world.
Davy: No, I don't know what it is, but it's the smallest thing in the whole galaxy! (4-11)
Well, I can't quite resist going a bit into the fives:
"You know why I win [marbles] all the time? Because my blood cells have little actions spirits ready to win" (5-0).
Daddy: Nothing goes faster than light.
Davy: No, something does.
Daddy: What?
Davy: Something that doesn't exist (5-0).
Daddy: If I spin a 3 [in Chutes and Ladders] I win!
Davy: You're not going to spin a 3!
Daddy: How do you know? Precognition? Psychic powers?
Davy: Extra strong brain! (5-0)
"You can't grab afterimages. When you grab them you just get air. Nothing made me think of that. It just popped into my brain" (5-0).
Seeing our brand-new minivan for the first time: "Hubcaps shiny as the sun! Tires as sticky as a sticky-frog!" (5-2).
Looking at the toy store sign: "'Toys R Us'. Are they us?" (5-2).